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I could be "girly" if Iwanted to be - after all I was now a girl.And I admitted to myself that I wanted to be - at least some of the time,although I still wanted to be practical in my clothing choices.And after a couple of boys had approached me, I could also admit that thebig reason why I turned them down had to do with already having someone inMelody rather than a lack of physical attraction to boys - or at least someboys.And I could live with that.Then, in my last class, something weird happened.It was social studies, and we had a guest speaker who came to talk aboutsome Native Canadian myths and stories.He was introduced as Dr. Michael Twoyoungman, and the story he sharedalmost seemed like something out of Lovecraft rather than somethingbelieved by native Canadians - a story about terrible monsters who onceroamed the land, who had been exiled thousands of years ago, but werealways trying to find a way back to the world of Men.The lecture itself was fine, but our teacher asked. I told him a little about myself but didn't delve too deep. I didn't want to scare him away. We went out fairly often. We were two grown adults so if you are wondering, we did have sex. It was good but I had a tendency to hold back. I was afraid of falling in love again.After dating a few months he wanted to know more about me. I told him I would tell him more when I felt more comfortable with him. I'm not sure he understood but was nice enough to tell me he didn't want to pressure me into anything but he thought he might be falling in love. He said he knew he was in lust. I didn't want to admit it but I felt the same way about him.We went to the club where our whole group hung out. A few of the gals had dates and I was with Matt. As we were dancing I thought about Matt and what a wonderful guy he was. I was afraid when I told him about my past, I might lose him. Then I looked up and saw Bill and Jim with a couple of bimbos. When I say bimbos I mean it. I figured the way they were.
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